There’s lot of hype about resolutions this time of year, and yes, I’m a total sucker for that shit! If you’re a reader of this blog, you’d already know that, but, you may be shocked to learn that in my “real life” circles that’s a topic I never discuss—not at this time of year, or at any other. In fact, there are tonnes of things on this blog that the majority of my “real-life peeps” know nothing about.
I do not blog anonymously—anyone from my “real-life” could Google me and discover all my “secrets”. If that happens, I’m okay with it. I’m just saying that me and my “real-life peeps” don’t tend to have meaningful conversations. There is a reason for it—my “real-life” relationships are shallow and superficial, and in large part, I’m responsible for that.
Yesterday, the subject of The 5 Love Languages was brought to my attention 4 freaking times! Clearly, it was a sign from the Universe! I went to the book’s website and repeated the Love Languages quiz I took a couple of years ago (because I finally know better than to disobey nudges from the Universe). It was no surprise to me that my results were the same as before. I’m a “Words of Affirmation” girl, but in me, it presents in the most dysfunctional way imaginable—give me praise and I’ll be tempted to sell my soul to keep it coming. This is even more likely to happen if there’s a
good-looking man throwing compliments my way.
My emotional response to someone’s first words of affirmation is, most often, an unpleasant one. I typically feel as if I don’t deserve the praise, and I’m uncomfortable accepting it. So, what do I do to make myself feel more okay about it? I try to be the person the affirmation giver believes me to be in order to earn the praise that’s already been given (and to inspire more). And even though the praise is for what I do, not who I am, it feels pretty damn good to get it!
My resolution for 2017, is to say goodbye to that nonsense, and to be unapologetically me. I’m done with trying to be the person others think I am (or should be). I’ve been experimenting with this in the second half of 2016. So far, I’m doing reasonably well with it, but I’m not going to lie, it’s not always easy! And now to really test me… the Universe has sent a hottie with a Ph.D in flattery to my door. I swear, the Universe an evil sense of humour! Grr! I may not win the guy when he finds out I’m not the super-woman he thinks I am, but, damn it, I’m going to win the Universe’s challenge! I’m not selling my soul this time.
Wish me luck!